"Super High Speakers Corner"

Is this your idea of a Canadian joke sir? or: Happy Canada Day!

2008-07-01T21:30:00.006-06:00

In celebration of this amazing country I call home on a day for celebration (especially since it is pouring out) here is my

"Top ten things that make me well Canadian, eh!"

1. Canadian independent music - Some of my favourite artists ever are those who have quietly risen to modest fame in their communities simply because of great talent and love. Artists like Leonard Cohen, Rufus Wainwright, Martha Wainwright, Joel Plaskett, Julie Doiron, Glenn Gould, The Tragically Hip and many many others have influenced thousands of up and coming artists while maintaining their roots and giving back to their communities. Don't get me wrong, Canada has its share of rude, wanna be rock stars but I find with Canadian artists they are so appreciative of their art and their fans. Some of my new favorite Canadian music: Dan Mangan, The New Pornographers, The Coast, Endangered Ape, Hey Ocean, Chad Vangaleen, The Pack AD, Shotgun Jimmie, Azeda Booth...

2. The CBC - Growing up the CBC was a mainstay in my home and the homes of many of my friends. CBC Radio one and two was something I remember always being on and Stuart Mclean's Vinyl Cafe and CBC Radio One's Here's to You are programs I still listen too. CBC Radio three is my own personal mainstay and there are so many amazing programmers and producers I couldn't even begin to name them all.

3. Canadian Lit - Richler, Ferguson, Atwood, Lewis, Klein, Findley, and Cohen are only a few of my favourite Canadian authors. Maybe it is that I relate to the grand landscapes they paint, or their interpretations of historical events that makes Canadian writing so profound and engrossing but the vast amount of talent this country houses is astonishing. Although quieter and maybe more simple, Canadian literature is a voice of a people who are constantly questioning their own identity. Maybe this is why Canadian lit. is so important to me. It is how I hear our country's voice.

4. Roy Macgregor - If you want a bio, here it is. I single him out from the many other amazing writers and journalists simply because of his own apparent love of everything Canadian. What can I say, I believe patriotism is infectious. His book "Canadians: A portrait of a Country and its People" is a portrayal worthy of at least one good read, whether you're Canadian or not.

5. Degrassi Junior High - Best. Show. Ever. This featured every single after school special imaginable and made it cool. Teenage pregnancy, abortion rights, death, zits (or The Zit Remedy, am I right?!) , first love and sex. Who needed parental guidance with Degrassi around? (Just kidding mom and dad...)

6. Canadian Heritage Moments - Yep, those 1min long "A part of your heritage" commercials burned Canadian history into our young, impressionable minds. Thank God. Social 10 was pretty much a succession of those brief childhood memories. Here's a couple of my favourites are the Winnie the Poo, our invention of Basketball, The Underground Railroad, Sam Steele

7. The Canadian Landscape - There is nothing more breathtaking than driving through a summer evening when the prairies are lit up with the setting sun or the Rockies on a cold winter morning when the snow has settled from the night before, or Northern Ontario in the fall with its huge trees. Our identity is so often associated with our surroundings. The Maple Leaf, cold winter days, the rough west, eastern lakes and all three of the oceans our country touches. It is amazing the diversity of land this country holds and every time I get the chance to visit somewhere new I am always amazed at what it holds. A friend of mine and University of Lethbridge Alum, Kelly Kennedy, is biking across Canada to raise PSE awareness and I can only imagine what he is getting to see everyday. (Also, you should check out their blog).

8. Canadian Cities - Who ever settled this country understood where to build up that homestead. In a country with a climate as variable as ours is and the blockades of poor transportation, little infrastructure and little access to building materials in many parts its impressive that settlements still sprung up from coast to coast in the most spectacular places. Huge rivers running through, oasis' in the middle of prairies, hidden gems in the valleys of B.C. and the forests of Ontario. They really are amazing. Winnipeg, Calgary, Ottawa, Vancouver, Halifax, even Toronto all have a distinct voice and a very distinct people who call it home.

9. Canadian towns - Small Canadian towns are my favourite thing in the whole world. CTV's Corner Gas fully captures the idiosyncrasies of small Canadian towns and the inherent modesty and politeness within. Canadian small towns really do capture and intensify what we consider traditional Canadian values. Politeness, hard work, early store closing, tight neighbourhoods, Tim Horton line ups, and large family's. My own family is from a small town in Northern Ontario and every time I visit I cannot help but marvel at the way this town works. The only coffee shop's in town are the Tim's or the Robin's Donut (note the THE), Safeway is where you go to get the 'good' groceries, they have one radio station, every one you meet is either a family friend or just family and they have the single greatest small town bar to ever exist (that's right, a shout out to the PI...If you have been there you know, if not, you don't even understand). It is also the town that when my G.Grandfather passed away friends, relatives and neighbours brought enough food and phoned so many times there was only a constant busy single. Wakes are a celebration. Home made wine and great food from family recipes older than most of my cousins. This is what small town means to me. That is also what Canada means to me.

10. Canadian pride - This ones a little hard to describe but I really find that Canadians are really very proud to be Canadian. Canadians stand up and shout they are Canadian (save maybe Conrad Black, who came crawling back anyways). We wear our flag on our back pack's, we recognize our pop stars (even if we cringe every time we hear them..), we get upset over a couple million dollars of a federal budget of a few hundred billion dollars, we listen to CBC and we take off our hats and stand at attention at the first note of Oh, Canada. Maybe I'm just a patriotic sap but nothing gets me more that seeing a sea of people all standing at attention while our national anthem rises up around me. Gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

Ugg boots and Lululemon pants...

2008-03-30T19:09:00.001-06:00

In these last couple weeks of the traditional university semester, I have decided to kick back and let my grades fall where they will. I have already accepted the misguided nature of this plan however the benefit of this does indeed allow me to chill out in the feverous uproar that is this end of term madness. In inspiration of this I give out to you…

Top Ten ways you should know you take yourself too seriously:

You sit in class and write obscure and explicit poetry on variations of monarch butterflies.
You get a body high every time someone asks you to define/explain a term that you have actively worked to include in your daily vernacular.
You check your blog stats hourly to ensure your Digg and Reddit posts are not going unnoticed.
Your path to class (or anywhere….) ensures the passing of the maximum number of reflective surfaces.
You have a top ten list, and it takes you more than 10 min to compile.
You own a Blackberry.
Your MySpace/Facebook/Friendster/etc… profiles are 100% sincere.
Your Facebook et al. profile pic’s are comprised mostly of pictures taken by you in your bathroom using your mirror.
You feel 100% completely qualified to judge a battle of the bands.
You like to think you and your professor build on each other’s ideas in your 1000 lecture style class and that it is completely suitable to argue with them, especially when you have read an article about the topic on the MSN news feed in the past 24 hours.

Whats wrong with The Fax?

2008-03-30T18:32:00.001-06:00

Top Ten Unconscious habits people have that they shouldn’t do in public:

Spitting – This is an incredibly gross habit that seems to have habituated itself in almost everyone. This habit is so offensive that several laws in almost every country have been created to minimize this all too public affair. Once a common action done by almost any person, the influenza epidemic soon put a stop to it.

Adjusting oneself: So, in all fairness, I am a lady and I am unaware of the annoyance of having a pair; however, I am fully aware of the annoyance of seeing men constantly adjust themselves in public. This is not just for men either. Ladies, it is totally unnecessary to adjust your under things, your clothes, or yourself in public. This is what bathrooms are for.

Wiping your mouths or hands on clothing – When I was a child, I was totally brainwashed to never ever wipe my hands or my mouth on my clothes. I am so glad. Have you ever seen someone wipe their poutine filled mouth on their sleeve? I do not recommend it.

Picking your nose – I really don’t think I need to explain this one. Beside the vast number of bacteria strains that is inside your nose and ergo in your mucus that then gets all over your hands, this is just a very disgusting and preventable habit. Tissues, handkerchiefs, pocket squares…all useful.

Eating/ talking with your mouth open – Yep, that is your lunch. Wow, it looks good. In fact, it looks good when it is on your plate….and I really have no need to see what it looks like after mastication. That game of “seafood” you played as a kid doesn’t need to be repeated as an adult.

Picking things out of your teeth – Floss is amazing. In fact, word on the street is bunches of dentist’s recommend it. Also - picking that ginger beef after your Hiroba lunch is not going to win you any friends….

Blowing your nose, then examining the tissue afterwards – Really, really unnecessary. Anywhere. Even when not in public. Its going to look gross and it is no longer in your body. We good?

Reading your newspaper slightly under your breathe but loud enough for people around you to hear – Especially if you are in a quiet area, like a library or classroom. Or anywhere, really. As far as I am concerned, if I wanted to read the paper, I would get the paper. A nasal and barley audible mumble does not substitute for Peter Mansbridge.

Not covering your mouth when you sneeze or cough – This is how the bubonic plague started.

Giving everyone the chance to listen to that new Rhianna album…but only through your own personal listening device and only in inappropriate places – Well, we have all been there. On the bus, enjoying the uncomfortable silence that happens when a group of strangers are thrown into a small confined place together and some punk kid coming on, with music audible enough to just make out the tune but nothing else. Really, really annoying. (disclaimer – nothing against punk kids, they’re usually pretty awesome, and don’t usually listen to Rhianna, I just like using the term punk kid)

I LOVE ROCK BAND!

2008-02-26T14:36:00.000-07:00

The past couple weeks I have been spending pretty much all of my time either getting super pumped for the upcoming elections or playing rock band ( I am now fully proficient at analyzing Dante’s seven levels of Hell while kicking Areosmith’s bass playing ass!). In playing this awesome sauce of a game I contrived a kick ass battle of the bands set list, and what makes a battle of the bands more wicked than awesome sauce categories? Nothing. So……

Top Ten “If I made battle of the band categories, these are the ones I would make”:

Best band facial hair growth – Lots of my favorite band members sport some awesome facial hair (Peaches showed that even us ladies can get in the fun!). Points for band uniformity, creativity, difficulty of growth and/or design and general beard bad assness.

Best call and response love looks – I’m talking a la Fleetwood Mac, Stars, Mates of State……You know when you are watching a band with two singers and they are too in love for words. Yah. Extra points if someone in the audience actually swoons.

Most kick ass guitar kick - a classic standard from the epic guitar hero competitions cropping up around the nation. There is nothing more bad ass then a sweet high kick while rocking out. Warning - best stretch…wouldn’t want to pull any of those muscles.

Best use of historical references in songs – There is nothing that gets my geeky heart a-beatin’ than a properly used historical reference in music. I have been working on my Tommy Douglas rap for ever…. “Breaking down privatization faster than T to the Douglas…say what!” (I promise, that was a joke…)

Best song title – This is much trickier than first seems. A good song title should represent the song somewhat, whether abstract or literal, but should not be a line directly out of the song or a too direct explanation for the song. My favorite thus far is the now defunct The Buzzing Bees track “Sorry, I was to busy being awesome”. Extra points for wicked references, math equations that seem really complicated and shout-ability for your encore presentations.

Best bro-down – This is simple. Bro-down the best and you will win. Extra points for inspiring bro-down groupies to also bro-down, and getting the whole audience into bro’ing-down.

Best foot stomping set – A set that gets everyone super jazzed and just ready to throw down is pretty kick ass. Extra points if an actual ho-down starts, people get up to foot stomp and if you can no longer hear the drums and/or bass because the whole place is packed with crazy folk stompin’ their feet.

Best use of hand claps – Seriously, people underestimate the power of hand claps. Modest Mouse, Broken Social Scene, and Radiohead have shown what gold can be spun with nothing but two hands and a beat. Throw them into a song and you have sheer rock goodness. But please remember boys and girls, with great power comes great responsibility….

Best Tambourine use – We all saw what The Bangles could do with a tambourine and ABBA ripped it up hard with this little hand held percussion, so don’t be afraid! Get yourself a little tambourine and invite friends up on stage with you to jam out. Instant success.

Best literary reference in song/album/track titles – Literary references are a hard thing to pull off without sound straight up pretentious, but done right and to the right audience….Let’s just say I cannot be held responsible for the panty throwing madness that could ensue. (ok, maybe panty throwing is a bit much but I am sure you will probably at least get laid….maybe, if there are lots of English majors in the crowd)

The essentail Indie this to do:

2008-01-11T17:23:00.002-07:00

Well....it has come that time in every music fan's year. The Top Ten of that year! Woot!

Like many others I have compiled a list of my personal fav. albums of 2007.

Some I just discovered and can't stop humming (Beirut....am I right!) and some I loved the moment they were released....

So, in no particular order because choosing just ten was hard enough:

1. Radiohead - InRainbows: One of the most talked about albums released this year, there is nothing I can say that hasn't been said. Brilliant. Inspiring. Musical Genius. This album blew me out of the water.
Favourite Track has to be Nude, hands down. This track isn't receiving as much popularity as some of the others on the album, but I do understand the difficulty in singing just one out. To choose a favourite on this album is almost like picking a favourite child. Everyone does it, it is just a little hard to justify. Highly recommend checking out the very cool Radiohead video released for New Years, Scotch Mist.

2. Jens Lekman - "Night Falls over Kortedala": A rather recent discovery but so amazing. A Swedish singer songwriter, his lyrics are so down to earth and so sugar sweet you feel a toothache coming on in the first three tracks.

3. Beirut - The Flying Club Cup: Another wicked Beirut album. I always feel that if music like this can be made then there is always some good in the world.

4. The Arcade Fire - Neon Bible: No surprise here, but with bumping tracks that actually mean something how could it not be on this list. Arcade Fire is boss, hands down and the only (very very small) detraction is that the "No Cars Go" recording on this album does pale slightly in comparison to the recording on their EP. However, the album is exceptional and their ability to follow up on of the most critically acclaimed albums of 2005 with an this masterpiece shows that this band has staying power and everyone betta recognize. Plus there just really really good.

5. New Pornographers - Challengers: Now, this album was not beloved by all New Pornographers fans but personally, I DIG. Its everything great about the Vancouver sound. Catchy, clever and downright great listening. Neko Case's voice sends shivers down my spine and although it is not as poppy as Twin Cinema (which I am not complaining about.....) I really think that they have found a solid sound which is a little more mature and lends itself a little better to the bands strengths.

6. Great Lake Swimmers - Ongaira: This album can break your heart faster then it takes to say "High School Sweetheart". "Passenger Song" is heart wrenching and Tony Dekker is just about the most love inspiring man to exist. A mellow album but don't let the slow pace fool into into think its simple or...gasp...borning. With lyrics like " Getting ready to perform/with bare feet and painted faces/ they took their places/on shivering legs beneath colorful gowns." the imagery portrayed is breathtaking.

7. Said the Whale - Taking Aba Lonia: A wicked new Vancouver band with a sweet upbeat, pop type sound. Fairly simple and this album is a little lo-fi (which I heart), the talent carries through. This is the quintessential summer-time-river-bed-hang-out-time album. Even in the dreary months of winter I can't help but bob my head along to "Fish and the Stars II". Plus hand claps galore! Also, they recently completed a CBC Radio 3 sponsored tour in a few cities in Western Canada. Lucky Lethbridge happened to be one of them!

8. Azeda Booth - Mysterious Body: A amazing Calgary band who also happens to feature the music director from CJSW. An amazing post-rock esque, minimalist album with a sound to make you sit back in Aw, which happens to feature the music director of CJSW. To see these guys live is an experience and a half so if you can, do it! Check out their MySpace.

9. Stars - In Our Bedroom After The War: Now, I would like to preface this by saying that this is hardly their best album. In fact, it may indeed by the one I like least, BUT, it is still a Stars album which means solid gold. Very poppy, super lyrical and tooth ache inducing. love it. Plus look how dreamy they are.

10. Caribou - Andorra: A new favourite band to add to my list with this album. "Melody Day" alone is worthy of high praise. There from Manitoba and sound west coast. Dreamy.

extra cred..

2008-01-09T18:17:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in my brand spakin' new class....for the spring semester....

Sociology of Cyberspace....

I wonder if I get bonus points for blogging in class.

Speaking of blogging...this will be changing up a little bit. Top Ten lists mixed in with a brand new format. Coming soon to a computer near you.

tell me oh wise one....

2007-12-05T23:55:00.000-07:00

I am in love.

This last little while technology and me are becoming fast friends.

I resisted, oh yes I did.

However between this brand spankin' new music blog application on Facebook and my new Blackberry pearl I hereby turn back on my previous "technology-is-killing-us-robots-will-take-over-the-world" stance.

Now I cry out to all you nay sayers, embrace!

The new Facebook application - "music blogs" is one must have for any music geek. Those favourite blogs you search out daily to get the dish on your favourite, or soon to be favourite bands, can be at your fingertips for all to enjoy. Your favourite blogs playlist, there, no downloading necessary. Plus there is a bevy to be found, some you may not have even known about.

Highly recommended.

2007-11-28T14:27:00.000-07:00

This week I had the great fortune to see one of my favorite bands live. The fortune was almost ruined by the incredulous behavior of some of my fellow concert goers. Please, heed these small requests and you will be loved by many a person.

(side note – these rules apply mainly to indoor shows will limited area. Outdoor shows are a whole different ballgame but politeness is always applied)

Top Ten ‘rules of show etiquette’:

Backpacks – When there is 300 people crammed into an area that should normally accommodate 100 people, being the person wearing a giant bag (backpack, purse, satchel, murse, whatever...) is only going to make people hate you. Not only will all dancing be ceased around you as you hit people with the little metal tabs on your bag, but your bag is taking up space that a person could be using to, I dunno, breathe.

Waiting in Line – Waiting in line is inevitable,unless you are lucky enough to know the promoter/band/bouncer or just be really really cute. So, please do not think that you and your 9 buddies can spot someone in line and sneak on in there. You can’t. Well, maybe you can, but you shouldn’t. Get your a** back there with everyone else.

Dressing to ‘fit in’ with the crowd/the band/ the opening act – By day, she’s a mild mannered, flared jean wearing, pink sweater tied around the waist with a cute little ponytail sitting on the top of her head. But by night, or more accurately by band, shes a black eyeliner, unnecessary belt using, suspender sporting, gelled spiked haired ‘punk/goth/rocker’. Don’t be this person. It sounds lame, but go for the music, not for the look. If you are a major D.O.A. Fan but wouldn’t even know where to find a studded belt, don’t look for it. Wear that Gap sweater and rock out with pride!

Starting Fights – There is a time and a place for throwin’ down. A Broken Social Scene show isn’t it. Fights are so not cool. We are all there for the same reason. Love and music. So just give in and let it allllll go. (and c’mon, getting rowdy indie rock style mainly includes wearing a bright knit pattern on your cardigan and excessive finger point dancing)

Pushing through – If you are not able to get past the group of people in front of you, you are even less likely to get through the people in front of them. Logic. Plus, say you do get through. You will leave a wake of unhappy people behind, annoy all those beside you because they have less room and be very very uncomfortable from not being to raise or lower your arms.

Talking about pushing through – Yep. Talking about “pushing past this *****” is not going to make that person want to help you. In fact they may very well try to impair your actions every way they can.

Trying to get in without paying- there are numerous phrases I have heard in my many door manning adventures. “I know the owner”, “I want to just get a drink”, “I didn’t know a band was playing”, “I know the bassist/drummer/second guitar/roadie..” These do not fly. If you know someone, get on the guest list. If you didn’t know a band was playing and don’t want to see it, or want to just get a drink, go to another bar. Door usually covers the bands road expenses, so don’t be an a** and pony up.

Stealing band merch – This is less likely at big shows, but still happens. Band’s merch is the number one way these folks make money. That CD you bought at HMV has a huge mark up so you really are paying HMV/the production company. That CD you bought at the show has no mark up and majority of money goes to the band. Support good bands and don’t be a jerk.

Saying stuff from music media like you came up with it – yes, that line in exclaim hailing Holy Fuck as the band that “scored a backing band from a Canrock wet dream...” is wicked and I bet you wish you thought of that wet dream reference yourself but you didn’t. Give credit where credit is due and you won’t sound like a pretentious a**.

Sitting down – Ok, this is the number one thing that drives me. When the house is packed with people and there is that time between the rad opening number and the headliner PLEASE DO NOT SIT DOWN. This is so rude. It makes people have to maneuver around you awkwardly, people will try and push to that space to only find out that it isn’t available and then have no where to go, and people will fall on you. Just don’t do it, straight up, theres no need.

honourable mention:
11. Make out couple - There is nothing worse or more awkward then trying to crane your neck around a couple who are straight up getting it on. Do not be this couple. It's gross.

Moral of the story folks: we are all in this together. Yes, venues get hot and crowded and kinda gross so if we all do our part to make it a bit more pleasant then it will be. It the words of greatness “Do or do not do, there is no try”. (sorry there really is no context for that it just had to be done)

Are you for realies?

2007-11-28T14:26:00.000-07:00

Since the fantastic scene in Say Anything where John Cusack explains the important of a mix tape, and the ever important movie, High Fidelity, many a young lad and lass have participated in the fine tradition of mix tape exchange. Now, there are a shawk of blogs out there giving some very excellent tips on mix tape making. (I highly recommend checking out: “wikihow.com/Make-a-Perfect-Mix-Tape-or-CD” or the very funny, if not rather specific “whatwouldjb.blogspot.com/2006/11/how-to-make-mix-tape-for-chuck.html”) but in my and the lovely features editor experiences, there are some songs that are straight up so full of cheese to be even considered. To save you all from the embarrassment that will follow if included, I give to you an early Christmas present (just in case a mix tape is going to be someone else’s Christmas present, cute!)

Top Ten ‘eye roll’ inducing songs put on a mix tape from an ex lover:

The Police - “Every breathe you take”: Yes, this at first listen sounds like a sweet song. Well, as many people by now know, it is about stalking someone. This is not an impression you will want to leave. Trust me. The P Diddy version also falls under the no go category. Ten fold.

The Postal Service - “Such Great Heights”: “I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
In our eyes are mirror images” Seriously? Yah, its a super cute song and my crush on Ben Gibbard has not wanned over the many years but this is a little to blatant. A good love song should have meaning, but a little subtlety people.

Aerosmith - “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”: Firstly, contraction’s are not sexy. Secondly- the scene in Armageddon that this song accompanies automatically rules it out. Thirdly – Its in Armageddon. Fourthly – This is the cheez wiz equivalent to cheese. Thats pretty bad.

Whitney Houston - “I will always love you”: Uh. I think the title speaks for itself.

John Mayer- “Your Body is a Wonderland”: Ok, a) this is the single sappiest song I have heard since I really liked Disney. b) John Mayer is actually a good songwriter and putting this on a mix tape is straight up lazy. Find a good song of his and impress! c) There is a strong possibility that this song will continue to be played on radio stations light rock radio aka. The River for many a year. Do you really want to be equated to The River?

Gym Class Hero's cover of Supertramps “Take a look at my Girlfriend”: This is not likely to win you many points. “Take a look at my girlfriend, she’s the only one I got, not much of a girlfriend......” Yah, Supertramp is awesome, however, Gym Class Hero's are not as much. This song does not belong on a mix tape for someone else. Put it in your own itunes playlist.

Jeff Buckley - “Lover, you should've come over”: Now, I love Jeff Buckley to no ends and the restraining order I had placed before...well... you know...can attest to that. BUT, this song is a cop out. If you didn’t want it end, YOU should have said something, not gotten Jeff to. Put on another song. “Lilac Wine” is amazing and his cover of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” is so dreamy anyone would melt listening to it.

Poison - “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn”: Ok, enough. This has to be the most over played 80’s ballad ever written. Everyone knows it, everyone has heard it upteen times at every Karaoke night. You want 80’s rock? Be original. Search something a little more obscure out?

Pink Floyd - “Wish you were here”: There is nothing wrong with a little Floyd but this and “Money” are so overplayed on every classic rock station that there is a good chance someone has a) dedicated this song to your sweetie already b) has put it on a mix tape (silly silly person) or c) your sweetie has it. In many forms. So once again, I urge you to step out of your box a little and find something a little different.

Foo Fighters “Everlong”: This is one of Foo Fighter’s biggest hits. Ever. It charted like mad in ‘97 and ‘98 and even has its own wikipedia page. These reasons alone stand to why you should not even bother. Unless you are actually trying to say “Yah, I pretty much just used songs I copied off the radio 10 years ago and I have no original thought or any deep emotional structure.” If you are trying to say that, well. Good Luck.

Moral of the story boys and girls: Be good to you mix tape’s and they will be good back. A little creativity, research, and subtlety is needed and don’t be afraid to go out there.

A good mix tape can be worth its weight in relationship gold (aka. getting laid).

smittens!

2007-11-28T14:22:00.000-07:00

I woke up yesterday and looked out my window and what did I see? A shimmering frosting of loveliness. Hence:

Top Ten reasons why Winter is straight up the most adorable season. Ever.

Smittens - For real. These actually exist. Created by a couple in Seattle, Smittens are designed so you can hold hands while wearing one mitten. In the words of the creator “...when it dawned on me to create a mitten that was large enough for both of our hands. That way, I thought we could truly hold hands”. Oh. Wow. The set comes with one “smitten” and two regular mittens. If you’re thinking that this will be a great present for your sweetie, check out the website smittens.biz. Then, once you have placed your order you can maybe find some matching sweater and become the envy of all your friends!

The sugar Bowl – This is a Lethbridge must-do in the winter time. The single greatest tobogganing hill this side of the rockies. Its got several levels of extreme and it is pretty safe since it really is a giant bowl. I would tell you where it is, but I am selfish.

Snow Forts – For real, as a kid, my siblings and I made snow forts that would put Jamison Builders to shame. We had chairs, table tops and after pouring water along the walls they would freeze rock solid and stay around for ages. I seriously recommended bundling up with a few friends, find a front or back yard and just giv’er. A little tip from the wise – if you are going to build snow tunnels, make sure they are not so heavy on top that when they collapse on top of you, you can get out.

Hot Toddy’s – This drink is guaranteed to warm you up on the coldest of days. Put 2-3 shots of Brandy in a ¾ full cup of your favorite tea (I personally go for a little Prince of Wales for this particular bevi), one teaspoon of honey and a little lemon slice for garnish. Delish!

Fireplaces – There is nothing cozier then sitting in front of a fireplace, with a Hot Toddy and a great book. Really, something about a fire on cold winter nights is guaranteed awesome time. Even with central heating, it is way more dreamy to curl up to some flaming goodness. If you have a bear skin rug – double points.

The claymation “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer” - This is a childhood classic. I could watch this movie again and again and again and find it charming each time. The songs are too cute and a dentist elf? Crazy! Plus- the abominable snowman is a dead ringer for the Yeti in “The Empire Strikes Back”. Sweet.

Snow Days – This term has always been associated with absolute complete freedom. Even if it is for only one day. Winter is so great because there are just those days when it is ok not to leave the house, Minus 30 weather and snow drifts are understandable reasons to stay indoors. When it is all cold and frosty outside and that last thing you want to do is leave your bed, don’t. Load up your fireplace, grab a couple of great books, a nice merlot and a giant, comfy blanket. There is no better way to spend a day doing nothing.

Ice Skating – Group skating parties are more fun then a barrel of monkeys. Good friends, cold ice and a plethora of opportunities to embarrass yourself and see your friends do likewise. Here are some must haves for an ice skating adventure: A Thermos full of something hot, extra socks, skates (uhh....duh?), warm clothing and a camera. Don’t like large groups of people, wanna get lucky this winter? This is also the single greatest date you could ever take someone on. Boys and Girls, if you want to impress someone, take them ice skating. It is always fun and even if neither of you know how to skate, falling down together is even more adorable.

Winter mornings – When the entire world is muffled from the snow fall and you need to squint because everything is bright from the sharp edge of the frost. The trees are filled with small crystals of ice and every step you take you can only hear the snow crunch under your feet. The cold air is sharp against your cheeks and your breath clouds around your face. Morning’s like these make the eventual slush storm worth it.

Winter accessories – Toques with pom pom’s, mittens with strings, great boots, giant scarves, mittens and ear muffs are pretty much to only reasons to go out in winter.

I'm not there

2007-11-04T16:26:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBAsheMKy0s

mmm...veggie dogs.

2007-10-29T22:44:00.000-06:00

This weeks Top Ten is inspired by a boisterous conversation held at the brand spankin’ new Red Dog Dinner. Originally meant to be a top ten epic battle list, it quickly turned into a Top Ten epic This vs. That list. Please enjoy the fruits of my friends obtuse minds:

Top Ten This vs. That:

1. Ewoks vs Storm Troopers – In the last amazing installment of Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VI:Return of the Jedi, these amazing little creatures are not only the most adorable little forest fighters ever but they can kick some serious ass. I mean, this is straight up David and Goliath. Storm Troopers have blasters and all these guys have are stick and stones and they STILL tore it down.

2 . Steven Colbert vs. The Bears – That man is going to get owned one day. Bears do not stand for that shit. Ask Ranger Rick. He got his in the end.

3. Bert vs. Ernie – The age old battle will always battle on. Interesting tidbit - Ernie's rendition of the song “Rubber Duckie” was released as a single in 1970 and reached #16 on the Billboard charts. I highly recommend typing in Bert and Ernie into Wikipedia. There some really funny ‘facts’ about these two Sesame Street characters.

Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff vs. The Parents - I think they said it all when they said:

"So to all you kids across the land, take it from me, parents just don't understand."

Gizmo vs. The Gremlins – Firstly, it is not Gizmo’s fault that creepy lizard like gremlins grew out of him. Specific instructions were given and if Billy’s jackass friends didn’t listen, well, not Gizmo’s fault. Secondly, he fights back hardcore. Flaming crossbow of doom anyone? (Interesting Fact- the voice of Gizmo was Howie Mandel. That may actually make up for “Deal or no Deal”. Maybe.)

Mufasa vs. Scar – Remember that scene in the Lion King when Scar is holding onto Mufasa’s paws with his claws and Mufasa is pleading with him to not drop him into the stampeding herd of wilder beast? Remember? Yah. Bad. Ass.

Deaner vs Nut Cancer – If you have yet to see “Fubar” then go rent it right now. A low budget, mockumentary filmed in and around Calgary AB. This film chronicles the life of two ‘metal heads’ and their trails and tribulations. It also includes an awesome song by Deaner himself titled “Women is a Danger Cat” (I am forever hoping to find someone(s) who have actually recorded this song. It would make my life) and features the best name scream ever (TRON!!!!) and the best word to describe a night of debauchery (Giv’er!!!). Essentially, it is awesome. Plus it is filmed in downtown Calgary, and I have actually been to a couple parties held in the Fubar house. Jealous?

(Sidenote – FUBAR actually stands for “F’ed up beyond repair”)

N.W.A vs. The Po-Po – I don’t want to get too deep in but this was one bad scene. Listen to any N.W.A song and I think you will get why. Hell, you really only need to listen to one...you know...the one titled “F*** tha Police”. Yah.

Lauren Hill vs. The rest of The Fugees – That girl is straight up crazy. CRAZY.

Conan O’Brien vs. The Horny Manatee – Man, this is probably one of my favorite Conan O’Brien skits. So, sometime in late 2006 Conan refereed to website www.hornymantatee.com which then, apparently, causes the producers of the show to a) actually create this website and then b) dupe some poor intern who really really wants this gig to dress up like a ‘sexy’ manatee and dance around suggestively on-air. Its even funnier then it sounds.

2007-10-23T15:22:00.000-06:00

Here is a little something something on Campus-Community radio.

It's a little dry, but it is a good 9min overview of some of the problems that C/C radio faces.

So kick it!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DmcnTu7CglU

my halloween costume beats your halloween costume

2007-10-23T00:12:00.000-06:00

Oh man, Halloween is coming up and I am the most excited. My costume is so scary I have to put it on in the dark lest I give myself the willies. Now for a top ten worthy of all the fake blood and scar tissue floating around out there:

Top Ten most under rated villains:

Boba Fett – This character deserves way more recognition for the evilness he represents. Yah, Star Wars has Darth Vadar and Emperor Palapatine but this guy....ohhhh man.

Sent to capture the “Millennium Falcon” in The Empire Strikes Back Boba Fett is the one threat real enough to capture the “fastest hunk of junk in the universe”. He is a mean, lean, disintegration machine. True to his evil, soul less nature he directs Darth Vadar to Cloud City to capture the Millennium Falcon, and then freezes dreamy Hans Solo, and triy's to trap Luke Skywalker. Evil eh? Don’t worry – Hans Solo, with a little help from that gross looking Sarlacc, teaches him a lesson. Take that Boba Fett. What!

Gargamele – Man, that guy would just straight up not let up on those cute little Smurfs. Who wants to eat a small blue creature anyways? Ew.

Commander Cobra – In all honesty, this suggestion comes from someone else but his passionate defense of why this needed to be included is good enough for me, so Wikipedia here we go....A character from G.I. Joe, he appears in the animated series, comic books, toy line and movie. Created by Marvel Comics writer Larry Hama and was loosely based on the James Bond villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld. In the words of the original Commander Cobra’s Character Dossier Card: “Absolute power! Total control of the world... its people, wealth and resources - that's the objective of Cobra Commander. This fanatical leader rules with an iron fist. He demands total loyalty and allegiance. His main battle plan, for world control, relies on revolution and chaos. He personally led uprisings in the Middle East, Southeast Asia and other trouble spots. Responsible for kidnapping scientists, businessmen and military leaders, then forcing them to reveal their top level secrets. Cobra Commander is hatred and evil personified. Corrupt. A man without scruples. Most dictators and would-be Napoleon types are hampered by the need to pretend that they are pursuing a noble and just cause. Cobra Commander doesn't have that problem. This guy's in it for the money and the power, and if anybody else is interested in these things, they can pick up an assault rifle and get in line behind him.”

Fair enough, pretty evil.

Nickelback – They’re trying to kill the music industry. I consider this villainous.

Bowser – You would get through all those levels, picking up mushrooms and stars, running away from creepy haunted houses and ghosts, getting all high on yourself, thinking you got it like that. Then, BOOM. Bowser would roll up and destroy all your hopes and dreams for rescuing the princess. Man, that guy sucked.

Professor Coldheart – I’m talking about the REAL Professor Coldheart. You may even know him, he may even be in one of your classes (and no, I am not talking about an actual prof).

The Misfits – Not the real life band (unless your talking about the post Glenn Danzig, in which case, yes) but the evil fictional band in the TV program Jem and the Holograms. These girls were bad ass, but not in the cool “smoking in the boys room” way. Undermining Jem any chance they would get and even sucking in kind, sweet and totally redeemable Stormer. And really, “Pizzazz”? Thats the best stage name you could come up with? At least Roxy, Stormer and Jetta sound cool. Pizzazz sounds like a B-club stripper, and whats with all the extra Z’s?F!

That person in every group project who does nothing at all but still takes the credit.

The T-Rex from Land before Time – Once again, I reference this fantabulous movie. Seriously though, can you honestly say that the T-Rex didn’t make you want to scream “Run Littlefoot Run!” at the TV screen until your older sibling flicked your ear and called you dumb for thinking that maybe, just maybe they could hear you? This character really did scare me more then what is logical, even for a mere child of 5. I did know dinosaurs and more specifically T-Rex’s no longer existed but still....one look at those giant teeth dripping on my TV screen, uhhh, it still gives me the shivers.

Mama Fratelli– The Goonies continues to be one of the greatest movies ever made and Mama Fratelli continues to be one of the freakin’ creepiest characters to ever exist. This lady was down right mean. Mean to The Goonies, mean to her sons, really mean to poor Sloth and she almost puts Chunk’s hand in a blender. Yah.

god, I am cute.

2007-10-21T21:17:00.001-06:00

It’s getting chillier and everyone seems to be walking around with a lovely little cold (myself included). So to warm up our hearts, lets take a walk down memory lane...Everyone have their buddy?

Top ten favorite childhood moments:

1. Being sick – Remember when being sick was the best thing ever? Now, I am not talking about real sick, like the chicken pox or Mono. More like that sick where you have a tummy ache and the sniffles. A couple days home from school, tons of attention, first dibs on the good T.V. programs and your teachers were totally cool when you didn’t have your homework finished for and entire week!
Now, if your lucky, you get a classmate to grab your notes from the one class you missed, where of course the entire test material is explained, which you then go to your prof.’s office to clarify the foreign language the notes seem to be in and wait 45 min for them to come during their office hours to then have them tell you, you should have been in class.
F!

2. “The Land before Time” movie – I’ve said it before and I will say it again. The first “Land before Time” was everything magical about childhood. Talking dinosaurs, life changing adventures, tree stars, BFF’s and good overcoming all the odds….sigh…Until about grade 5 I truly believed that this is what prehistoric times were really like.

3. Truth, Dare, Double Dare, Promise to Repeat – Some of my most scandalous moments have been because of this game. Also, some of the funniest childhood stories and memories are because of this game. C’mon, you know there was always that person who would do ANYTHING....

4. Long summer nights – Remember those summer’s where you truly had nothing to do for two whole months? No jobs, no school and minimal supervision. Bed times were pushed back to dusk and dusk meant like 9 pm! To a 10 year old that’s a huge deal. Bike rides, slurpees and days spent listlessly laying around on the playground, in your bedroom, in your friends basement....

5. Recess – Yes, as University students we do indeed get to choose our own schedule and breaks are abundent, but nothing compares to the anticipation of the last 30 minutes before sweet, sweet freedom. The race to the best swing, the claim on the four square space and huge games of cops and robbers. Recess was awesome and it didn’t matter how cold it was outside, the 15 minutes you get entirely to yourself was so worth that endless math class you have to endure to the get there (unless of course you are one of those people who liked math, in which case you are probably a math major now).

6. Elementary Crushes –Elementary crushes were characterized by hearts drawn in notebooks, giggling girls and chases on the playground. When boyfriends and girlfriends were the friends that you held hands with, or if you were very scandalous, kissed during school field trips or on the back of the bus ; and of course there was always that one ‘couple’ who got ‘married’ under the money bars. Cute!

7. TGIF – Friday’s used to be the night you stayed home and watched Boy Meets World, Sabrina the Teenage Witch and a slew of other coming of age sitcoms. You were allowed to stay up extra late because it wasn’t a school night and sleepovers + TGIF were, as the old adage goes, the bomb!

8. Saturday morning cartoons – Ok, so a know that TV seems to be a large part of this list, but lets face it, TV was a large part of many of our childhood’s. Even if your parents didn’t let you have cable until you were too old to care (like myself...which is why I didn’t know what Much Music was until I was 19....thanks mom and dad..) One Saturday Morning was on peasant vision and getting up at 9am was actually something I looked forward too. Plus it was the only way I was going to beat my three younger siblings to the good TV spot.

9. Milk Money – Yep, the school milk program rocked! Not only did you get tasty, delicious milk everyday, worry free, you won stuff too. Fair enough, I now see through the ploy that milk company’s are just trying to suck in young, impressionable future consumers and their parents by playing up the nutritious element, but still, free key rings? Whats up! ( A little fun fact for ya- being Lactose Intolerant is much more common then commonly known. Most adults don’t have the enzyme to break down milk protein because it does not naturally occur. It was an evolutionary thing we developed in the northern hemisphere to ensure we would get enough nutrients during those barren winter months.)

10. Friendship Bracelets - Ok, these were the coolest. Yes, a little elitist and I remember more then one lunch hour pouting about MY BFF giving some other girl a friendship bracelet, but still. Brightly colored pieces of string knotted together, something about it gets me every time. Plus they are a camp counselors dream!

Acceptance makes great top ten's

2007-10-21T20:50:00.000-06:00

So, recently I completed the true test of a Lethbridge local. The walk from the west side to the south side. Now, it was a fair night with little wind but I still feel that I have been officially initiated into Lethbridge culture. For all you local’s and you fourth years who are pretty much locals by now here is this weeks top ten:

You know your (officially) from Lethbridge when:

1. You have walked from the west side to the south side, and it didn’t think it was that bad. In fact you may do it again. If the wind doesn’t physically stop you.

2. You don’t even like music but you know who Atrophy Manuscript is.

3. You know who is painted on the side of The Slice bar and grill.

4. You have worked at The Empire movie theater and/or The Penny Coffee house at some point in your life.

5. You have been in the wicked mysterious tunnels that run underneath downtown.

6. You wonder why 1983 was such a significant year and what made it cause a generation of people to “grow up”. F!

7. You actually know what people mean when they give you directions that use ‘China Town’ as a reference. (but you still shoot them a look because, C’MON!)

8. You are sick of seeing pictures/postcards/depictions of The Train Bridge. (but you miss it when you’re gone, and only feel truly at home once you round that corner and it comes into sight)

9. The fact that Lethbridge Transit actually calls itself L.A. Transit no longer is the funniest thing you have ever heard.

10. You have seen “Land before.....haha...just kidding.... for real: You no longer wonder where the East side went and you strongly identify yourself from which section of the city you live in. (go Westside!! woot woot!)

Do Stuff!

2007-10-21T20:37:00.000-06:00

This was written mid september, so the pre-amble is a little dated. uhh...awkward...

So, it’s your third week in classes and you have most likely spent more time at The Duke then what is good for any one person. You have also probably gotten to that point that most people get to at about this...well...point. You are already sick of the wind, the one bar you have been too and looking for a reason to love this oh-so-love-to-hateable town. Well my dears, don’t despair:

Top Ten reasons why it’s worth putting up with ‘The Wind’.

Small venues = up close to sweet bands – Where else could I have seen Wayne Petti (from Cuff the Duke) drop trou, shaken it to Tokyo Police Club, sang along with Tegan and Sara, shaken hands with Joel Plaskett, had The Stolen Minks sign my hankie, and grooved to Bedouin Soundclash. Here in Lethbridge we have few venues for sweet bands to play in but these venues do offer what many can’t: up close and personal interaction. I have seen/danced to/meet many an artist here and my brushes of fame have only served to highlight why the Lethbridge music scene is super sweet.
Wicked coffee shops – For real. I am not comparing Lethbridge to coffee shop mecca’s like Vancouver or Toronto but places like Roundstreet Cafe and The Penny serve up a mean cappuccino, know how to make an iced Vietnamese ( hell, the fact they even know what one is makes me happy...) and make deli-sh sandwich's to go. These are all things that make a time crunched university student very very happy. Only problem- not open late enough, so get there during the day to taste these delights!
Saturday nights – Need something to do? Sick of studying? Well...Lethbridge offers quite a bit for cash strapped youths. Movie theaters are never sold out and cheaper here then other cities, places to play a game of pool and have a bevi are abundant (my favorite – Westside Backstreet) and most Saturdays boast a fire-spinning/ Tune blasting/ sweet dancing good time at Galt Gardens. Bring a hoop, some hot chocolate and let the good times begin!
Walking – Ok, so the fact that you can walk from a sweet sushi restaurant to a movie theater and then a pub without exerting too much effort is totally sweet. Plus the Lethbridge low crime rate means you can stroll after dark with little to no worry about your safety! Sweet! Plus downtown is pretty adorable and worth at least one of your afternoons.
Art Gallery’s - We have some very very sweet art gallery’s and as you will learn in Art 1000, Lethbridge boasts some world class collections (word has it, the UofL even owns a Picasso. Whats up!) Here are some you might not even know about:

- Gallery Potemkin: A loosely organized group of about 15 artists who occupy studio space in downtown Lethbridge and present three to four exhibitions a year. Rental space for artists.
Address: 316 5 St S Lethbridge AB T1J 2B5

- The Miller Gallery: Address: 407A 5 St S Lethbridge AB T1J 2B6

- Trianon Gallery: Formerly the Trianon Ballroom (1930s-1960s), the gallery is an informal mix between a gallery and an architectural office. Its open space and philosophy allows for creative community responses. Exhibitions range from nationally-renowned artists to aspiring students. A second exhibition space, Le Petit Trianon is now open downstairs.
Address: 104 5 St S - Upstairs Lethbridge AB T1J 2B2

- Coulee Ridge Art Gallery: Mon - Sat 10 am - 6 pm.
Address: Lethbridge Center Mall, 217-200 4 Ave S Lethbridge AB T1J 4C9

Chances to get involved - There are a shawk of wicked organizations and clubs in this city and since we are fairly small, you can play a lead role in these sweet groups. It’s super easy to fins local chapters and organizations on google. Just type in Lethbridge and then the group or interest. Presto! For example - “Lethbridge campus community radio” = CKXU!
Kebab Land – It’s a proper Kebab place. On the West Side (right next door to Fire and Ice). Open late. Serves a plethora of delights. Need I say more?
Karaoke to knock your socks off – For whatever reason Lethbridge has some of the best karaoke I have even encountered. The Tuesday night Slice Bar and Grill karaoke boats a song book to make any music lover swoon. Bo-Dudley’s and The Duke also host karaoke which will have you up on stage singing Blondie’s “Call Me” anyone before you can say “just one more drink..”
The Coulees – Breathtaking, free and totally accessible to all! They are amazing and all the locals know those wicked spots to sit, chill and think of that essay topic you have been putting off... So make friends with a local and utilize that shit! Plus, with all the rain hopefully the fire ban will no longer exist and then (space designated and controlled) coulee fires will reign supreme!
The People – Despite some of the hang-up’s that Lethbridge does carry, the people here make it all worthwhile. Ton’s of University student’s mean lots of wicked like minded people to meet, a great arts community, a wicked local music scene (seriously, check it! Local bands here are too good to not know about) and lots of ways to meet all these fine folks means a bevy of potential friends at your fingertips.

Why I hate Toby McGuire

2007-10-21T20:32:00.000-06:00

Throughout my many years at a fine institution of learning, I have worked at perfecting one of the greatest skills that any fourth year student could have. The art of ripping stuff off. Here is a tribute to a skill which many of us university students couldn’t live without:

The top ten biggest rip off's of all time:

1. The Terminator III - Seriously. One was funny and totally far sighted for its time, two was pretty decent and more action packed then a can full of rubber snakes. Three, pure and unadulterated crap. The governator has all of California's tax money to throw into a movie and that's what comes out??

2. Paul McCartney's new album "Memory almost full" - More like "Senility has finally set in". Do yourself a favor. Go buy "St. Peppers Lonely Heart Club Band". Go.

3. Venti Frappiccunio Lights - Firstly- a Venti drink is 20 oz, or 750 ml or 3/4 of a liter. That’s 1/3 of your daily water needs. No one needs that much blended dairy product with diabetic inducing sugar syrup. Secondly- if you are looking to cut calories, get a smaller size. A Venti light is still enough calories to make up around 1/4-1/3 of your daily intake. Unless you literally live off three Venti frappiccunio daily (in which case, you’re going to be a diabetic soon) is that one frap really worth it? Thirdly - Think of how much of a drink 750 ml's is. At that point, can you even taste the pop culture capitalistic exploitation any more? Just get a small/tall/something else foreign sounding.

4. The Treaty of Versailles - If you don't know what I am talking about, do yourself a favor. Head on down to the local library and take out a library card. Then look it up. Too lazy? Yah, me too. Ok then, google it. See what I mean. Rip off through and through.

5. That 80's show- I don't know how many people remember this show, it existed for barley one season and became the number one time spot watched while channel surfing. Those 4 seconds each flip really add up. Trying to capture the success of the That 70's Show, a show about the big bad 80's rears its ugly head. Besides being a formula show with bad writing, the cast wasn't memorable and didn't have any of the chemistry that the cast from That 70's Show had.
The 80's were defined by the self obsessed nature of anyone who existed in the 80's. Look at every movie created. All commentaries on the selfish pop culture existence but all a self contained pop culture reference in itself. How can you make a show that draws from something which is as cliché as referencing a cliché in a blog (then using self deprecating humor to create a facade of coolness....oh Kolsterman I have learned so much from you.)

6. Asexual reproduction - 'nuff said.

7. Toy dogs- Where the hell is the rest of it? If I was given an itty bitty poodle that needed puppy booty's in the winter and sweaters at the first sign of frost I would ask where the dog trade-in office was and then get a real dog.

8. Canadian cell phone service - We have the worst cell phone service in the world. Seriously. Look it up. Not only do Canadians pay an arm and a leg for their cell phone bills but dropped calls, increasing charges and 3 year plans are so not ok. I say we rise up; all throw away our cell phones, bankrupt the companies and then start fresh.

9. Land Before Time II, III, IV, V, VI etc.... - The first Land Before Time was amazing. Childhood would not have been the same without Little Foot, Petri, Duckie, Spike and Sarah. However all the subsequent releases made my inner child want to shrivel like an ill feed mandrake root. Sad, sad, sad.

10. The Spiderman Movies - Yep, they both sucked. They took a wonderful, fantastic comic book and then created something puke inducing out of it. How rude. I admit it, I am a comic book fan or more accurately I am a fan of the social and political contexts in which comic books became a huge industry and one of the largest pop culture phenomenon since...well....fire? But, what the Spiderman movies did was suck all of the coolness out and replace it with Toby McGuire crying. F!