Ugg boots and Lululemon pants...

In these last couple weeks of the traditional university semester, I have decided to kick back and let my grades fall where they will. I have already accepted the misguided nature of this plan however the benefit of this does indeed allow me to chill out in the feverous uproar that is this end of term madness. In inspiration of this I give out to you…

Top Ten ways you should know you take yourself too seriously:

1. You sit in class and write obscure and explicit poetry on variations of monarch butterflies.
2. You get a body high every time someone asks you to define/explain a term that you have actively worked to include in your daily vernacular.
3. You check your blog stats hourly to ensure your Digg and Reddit posts are not going unnoticed.
4. Your path to class (or anywhere….) ensures the passing of the maximum number of reflective surfaces.
5. You have a top ten list, and it takes you more than 10 min to compile.
6. You own a Blackberry.
7. Your MySpace/Facebook/Friendster/etc… profiles are 100% sincere.
8. Your Facebook et al. profile pic’s are comprised mostly of pictures taken by you in your bathroom using your mirror.
9. You feel 100% completely qualified to judge a battle of the bands.
10. You like to think you and your professor build on each other’s ideas in your 1000 lecture style class and that it is completely suitable to argue with them, especially when you have read an article about the topic on the MSN news feed in the past 24 hours.
    

Whats wrong with The Fax?

Top Ten Unconscious habits people have that they shouldn’t do in public:

1. Spitting – This is an incredibly gross habit that seems to have habituated itself in almost everyone. This habit is so offensive that several laws in almost every country have been created to minimize this all too public affair. Once a common action done by almost any person, the influenza epidemic soon put a stop to it.

2. Adjusting oneself: So, in all fairness, I am a lady and I am unaware of the annoyance of having a pair; however, I am fully aware of the annoyance of seeing men constantly adjust themselves in public. This is not just for men either. Ladies, it is totally unnecessary to adjust your under things, your clothes, or yourself in public. This is what bathrooms are for.

3. Wiping your mouths or hands on clothing – When I was a child, I was totally brainwashed to never ever wipe my hands or my mouth on my clothes. I am so glad. Have you ever seen someone wipe their poutine filled mouth on their sleeve? I do not recommend it.

4. Picking your nose – I really don’t think I need to explain this one. Beside the vast number of bacteria strains that is inside your nose and ergo in your mucus that then gets all over your hands, this is just a very disgusting and preventable habit. Tissues, handkerchiefs, pocket squares…all useful.

5. Eating/ talking with your mouth open – Yep, that is your lunch. Wow, it looks good. In fact, it looks good when it is on your plate….and I really have no need to see what it looks like after mastication. That game of “seafood” you played as a kid doesn’t need to be repeated as an adult.

6. Picking things out of your teeth – Floss is amazing. In fact, word on the street is bunches of dentist’s recommend it. Also - picking that ginger beef after your Hiroba lunch is not going to win you any friends….

7. Blowing your nose, then examining the tissue afterwards – Really, really unnecessary. Anywhere. Even when not in public. Its going to look gross and it is no longer in your body. We good?

8. Reading your newspaper slightly under your breathe but loud enough for people around you to hear – Especially if you are in a quiet area, like a library or classroom. Or anywhere, really. As far as I am concerned, if I wanted to read the paper, I would get the paper. A nasal and barley audible mumble does not substitute for Peter Mansbridge.

9. Not covering your mouth when you sneeze or cough – This is how the bubonic plague started.

10. Giving everyone the chance to listen to that new Rhianna album…but only through your own personal listening device and only in inappropriate places – Well, we have all been there. On the bus, enjoying the uncomfortable silence that happens when a group of strangers are thrown into a small confined place together and some punk kid coming on, with music audible enough to just make out the tune but nothing else. Really, really annoying. (disclaimer – nothing against punk kids, they’re usually pretty awesome, and don’t usually listen to Rhianna, I just like using the term punk kid)