This week I had the great fortune to see one of my favorite bands live. The fortune was almost ruined by the incredulous behavior of some of my fellow concert goers. Please, heed these small requests and you will be loved by many a person.

(side note – these rules apply mainly to indoor shows will limited area. Outdoor shows are a whole different ballgame but politeness is always applied)

Top Ten ‘rules of show etiquette’:

1. Backpacks – When there is 300 people crammed into an area that should normally accommodate 100 people, being the person wearing a giant bag (backpack, purse, satchel, murse, whatever...) is only going to make people hate you. Not only will all dancing be ceased around you as you hit people with the little metal tabs on your bag, but your bag is taking up space that a person could be using to, I dunno, breathe.

2. Waiting in Line – Waiting in line is inevitable,unless you are lucky enough to know the promoter/band/bouncer or just be really really cute. So, please do not think that you and your 9 buddies can spot someone in line and sneak on in there. You can’t. Well, maybe you can, but you shouldn’t. Get your a** back there with everyone else.

3. Dressing to ‘fit in’ with the crowd/the band/ the opening act – By day, she’s a mild mannered, flared jean wearing, pink sweater tied around the waist with a cute little ponytail sitting on the top of her head. But by night, or more accurately by band, shes a black eyeliner, unnecessary belt using, suspender sporting, gelled spiked haired ‘punk/goth/rocker’. Don’t be this person. It sounds lame, but go for the music, not for the look. If you are a major D.O.A. Fan but wouldn’t even know where to find a studded belt, don’t look for it. Wear that Gap sweater and rock out with pride!

4. Starting Fights – There is a time and a place for throwin’ down. A Broken Social Scene show isn’t it. Fights are so not cool. We are all there for the same reason. Love and music. So just give in and let it allllll go. (and c’mon, getting rowdy indie rock style mainly includes wearing a bright knit pattern on your cardigan and excessive finger point dancing)

5. Pushing through – If you are not able to get past the group of people in front of you, you are even less likely to get through the people in front of them. Logic. Plus, say you do get through. You will leave a wake of unhappy people behind, annoy all those beside you because they have less room and be very very uncomfortable from not being to raise or lower your arms.

6. Talking about pushing through – Yep. Talking about “pushing past this *****” is not going to make that person want to help you. In fact they may very well try to impair your actions every way they can.

7. Trying to get in without paying- there are numerous phrases I have heard in my many door manning adventures. “I know the owner”, “I want to just get a drink”, “I didn’t know a band was playing”, “I know the bassist/drummer/second guitar/roadie..” These do not fly. If you know someone, get on the guest list. If you didn’t know a band was playing and don’t want to see it, or want to just get a drink, go to another bar. Door usually covers the bands road expenses, so don’t be an a** and pony up.

8. Stealing band merch – This is less likely at big shows, but still happens. Band’s merch is the number one way these folks make money. That CD you bought at HMV has a huge mark up so you really are paying HMV/the production company. That CD you bought at the show has no mark up and majority of money goes to the band. Support good bands and don’t be a jerk.

9. Saying stuff from music media like you came up with it – yes, that line in exclaim hailing Holy Fuck as the band that “scored a backing band from a Canrock wet dream...” is wicked and I bet you wish you thought of that wet dream reference yourself but you didn’t. Give credit where credit is due and you won’t sound like a pretentious a**.

10. Sitting down – Ok, this is the number one thing that drives me. When the house is packed with people and there is that time between the rad opening number and the headliner PLEASE DO NOT SIT DOWN. This is so rude. It makes people have to maneuver around you awkwardly, people will try and push to that space to only find out that it isn’t available and then have no where to go, and people will fall on you. Just don’t do it, straight up, theres no need.

honourable mention:
11. Make out couple - There is nothing worse or more awkward then trying to crane your neck around a couple who are straight up getting it on. Do not be this couple. It's gross.

Moral of the story folks: we are all in this together. Yes, venues get hot and crowded and kinda gross so if we all do our part to make it a bit more pleasant then it will be. It the words of greatness “Do or do not do, there is no try”. (sorry there really is no context for that it just had to be done)

Are you for realies?

Since the fantastic scene in Say Anything where John Cusack explains the important of a mix tape, and the ever important movie, High Fidelity, many a young lad and lass have participated in the fine tradition of mix tape exchange. Now, there are a shawk of blogs out there giving some very excellent tips on mix tape making. (I highly recommend checking out: “wikihow.com/Make-a-Perfect-Mix-Tape-or-CD” or the very funny, if not rather specific “whatwouldjb.blogspot.com/2006/11/how-to-make-mix-tape-for-chuck.html”) but in my and the lovely features editor experiences, there are some songs that are straight up so full of cheese to be even considered. To save you all from the embarrassment that will follow if included, I give to you an early Christmas present (just in case a mix tape is going to be someone else’s Christmas present, cute!)

Top Ten ‘eye roll’ inducing songs put on a mix tape from an ex lover:

1. The Police - “Every breathe you take”: Yes, this at first listen sounds like a sweet song. Well, as many people by now know, it is about stalking someone. This is not an impression you will want to leave. Trust me. The P Diddy version also falls under the no go category. Ten fold.

2. The Postal Service - “Such Great Heights”: “I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
   In our eyes are mirror images” Seriously? Yah, its a super cute song and my crush on Ben Gibbard has not wanned over the many years but this is a little to blatant. A good love song should have meaning, but a little subtlety people.

3. Aerosmith - “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”: Firstly, contraction’s are not sexy. Secondly- the scene in Armageddon that this song accompanies automatically rules it out. Thirdly – Its in Armageddon. Fourthly – This is the cheez wiz equivalent to cheese. Thats pretty bad.

4. Whitney Houston - “I will always love you”: Uh. I think the title speaks for itself.

5. John Mayer- “Your Body is a Wonderland”: Ok, a) this is the single sappiest song I have heard since I really liked Disney. b) John Mayer is actually a good songwriter and putting this on a mix tape is straight up lazy. Find a good song of his and impress! c) There is a strong possibility that this song will continue to be played on radio stations light rock radio aka. The River for many a year. Do you really want to be equated to The River?

6. Gym Class Hero's cover of Supertramps “Take a look at my Girlfriend”: This is not likely to win you many points. “Take a look at my girlfriend, she’s the only one I got, not much of a girlfriend......” Yah, Supertramp is awesome, however, Gym Class Hero's are not as much. This song does not belong on a mix tape for someone else. Put it in your own itunes playlist.

7. Jeff Buckley - “Lover, you should've come over”: Now, I love Jeff Buckley to no ends and the restraining order I had placed before...well... you know...can attest to that. BUT, this song is a cop out. If you didn’t want it end, YOU should have said something, not gotten Jeff to. Put on another song. “Lilac Wine” is amazing and his cover of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” is so dreamy anyone would melt listening to it.

8. Poison - “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn”: Ok, enough. This has to be the most over played 80’s ballad ever written. Everyone knows it, everyone has heard it upteen times at every Karaoke night. You want 80’s rock? Be original. Search something a little more obscure out?

9. Pink Floyd - “Wish you were here”: There is nothing wrong with a little Floyd but this and “Money” are so overplayed on every classic rock station that there is a good chance someone has a) dedicated this song to your sweetie already b) has put it on a mix tape (silly silly person) or c) your sweetie has it. In many forms. So once again, I urge you to step out of your box a little and find something a little different.

10. Foo Fighters “Everlong”: This is one of Foo Fighter’s biggest hits. Ever. It charted like mad in ‘97 and ‘98 and even has its own wikipedia page. These reasons alone stand to why you should not even bother. Unless you are actually trying to say “Yah, I pretty much just used songs I copied off the radio 10 years ago and I have no original thought or any deep emotional structure.” If you are trying to say that, well. Good Luck.

Moral of the story boys and girls: Be good to you mix tape’s and they will be good back. A little creativity, research, and subtlety is needed and don’t be afraid to go out there.

A good mix tape can be worth its weight in relationship gold (aka. getting laid).

smittens!

I woke up yesterday and looked out my window and what did I see? A shimmering frosting of loveliness. Hence:

Top Ten reasons why Winter is straight up the most adorable season. Ever.

1. Smittens - For real. These actually exist. Created by a couple in Seattle, Smittens are designed so you can hold hands while wearing one mitten. In the words of the creator “...when it dawned on me to create a mitten that was large enough for both of our hands. That way, I thought we could truly hold hands”. Oh. Wow. The set comes with one “smitten” and two regular mittens. If you’re thinking that this will be a great present for your sweetie, check out the website smittens.biz. Then, once you have placed your order you can maybe find some matching sweater and become the envy of all your friends!

2. The sugar Bowl – This is a Lethbridge must-do in the winter time. The single greatest tobogganing hill this side of the rockies. Its got several levels of extreme and it is pretty safe since it really is a giant bowl. I would tell you where it is, but I am selfish.

3. Snow Forts – For real, as a kid, my siblings and I made snow forts that would put Jamison Builders to shame. We had chairs, table tops and after pouring water along the walls they would freeze rock solid and stay around for ages. I seriously recommended bundling up with a few friends, find a front or back yard and just giv’er. A little tip from the wise – if you are going to build snow tunnels, make sure they are not so heavy on top that when they collapse on top of you, you can get out.

4. Hot Toddy’s – This drink is guaranteed to warm you up on the coldest of days. Put 2-3 shots of Brandy in a ¾ full cup of your favorite tea (I personally go for a little Prince of Wales for this particular bevi), one teaspoon of honey and a little lemon slice for garnish. Delish!

5. Fireplaces – There is nothing cozier then sitting in front of a fireplace, with a Hot Toddy and a great book. Really, something about a fire on cold winter nights is guaranteed awesome time. Even with central heating, it is way more dreamy to curl up to some flaming goodness. If you have a bear skin rug – double points.

6. The claymation “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer” - This is a childhood classic. I could watch this movie again and again and again and find it charming each time. The songs are too cute and a dentist elf? Crazy! Plus- the abominable snowman is a dead ringer for the Yeti in “The Empire Strikes Back”. Sweet.

7. Snow Days – This term has always been associated with absolute complete freedom. Even if it is for only one day. Winter is so great because there are just those days when it is ok not to leave the house, Minus 30 weather and snow drifts are understandable reasons to stay indoors. When it is all cold and frosty outside and that last thing you want to do is leave your bed, don’t. Load up your fireplace, grab a couple of great books, a nice merlot and a giant, comfy blanket. There is no better way to spend a day doing nothing.
   

8. Ice Skating – Group skating parties are more fun then a barrel of monkeys. Good friends, cold ice and a plethora of opportunities to embarrass yourself and see your friends do likewise. Here are some must haves for an ice skating adventure: A Thermos full of something hot, extra socks, skates (uhh....duh?), warm clothing and a camera. Don’t like large groups of people, wanna get lucky this winter? This is also the single greatest date you could ever take someone on. Boys and Girls, if you want to impress someone, take them ice skating. It is always fun and even if neither of you know how to skate, falling down together is even more adorable.

9. Winter mornings – When the entire world is muffled from the snow fall and you need to squint because everything is bright from the sharp edge of the frost. The trees are filled with small crystals of ice and every step you take you can only hear the snow crunch under your feet. The cold air is sharp against your cheeks and your breath clouds around your face. Morning’s like these make the eventual slush storm worth it.

10. Winter accessories – Toques with pom pom’s, mittens with strings, great boots, giant scarves, mittens and ear muffs are pretty much to only reasons to go out in winter.

I'm not there

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBAsheMKy0s