tell me oh wise one....

I am in love.

This last little while technology and me are becoming fast friends.

I resisted, oh yes I did.

However between this brand spankin' new music blog application on Facebook and my new Blackberry pearl I hereby turn back on my previous "technology-is-killing-us-robots-will-take-over-the-world" stance.

Now I cry out to all you nay sayers, embrace!

The new Facebook application - "music blogs" is one must have for any music geek. Those favourite blogs you search out daily to get the dish on your favourite, or soon to be favourite bands, can be at your fingertips for all to enjoy. Your favourite blogs playlist, there, no downloading necessary. Plus there is a bevy to be found, some you may not have even known about.

Highly recommended.

This week I had the great fortune to see one of my favorite bands live. The fortune was almost ruined by the incredulous behavior of some of my fellow concert goers. Please, heed these small requests and you will be loved by many a person.

(side note – these rules apply mainly to indoor shows will limited area. Outdoor shows are a whole different ballgame but politeness is always applied)

Top Ten ‘rules of show etiquette’:

1. Backpacks – When there is 300 people crammed into an area that should normally accommodate 100 people, being the person wearing a giant bag (backpack, purse, satchel, murse, whatever...) is only going to make people hate you. Not only will all dancing be ceased around you as you hit people with the little metal tabs on your bag, but your bag is taking up space that a person could be using to, I dunno, breathe.

2. Waiting in Line – Waiting in line is inevitable,unless you are lucky enough to know the promoter/band/bouncer or just be really really cute. So, please do not think that you and your 9 buddies can spot someone in line and sneak on in there. You can’t. Well, maybe you can, but you shouldn’t. Get your a** back there with everyone else.

3. Dressing to ‘fit in’ with the crowd/the band/ the opening act – By day, she’s a mild mannered, flared jean wearing, pink sweater tied around the waist with a cute little ponytail sitting on the top of her head. But by night, or more accurately by band, shes a black eyeliner, unnecessary belt using, suspender sporting, gelled spiked haired ‘punk/goth/rocker’. Don’t be this person. It sounds lame, but go for the music, not for the look. If you are a major D.O.A. Fan but wouldn’t even know where to find a studded belt, don’t look for it. Wear that Gap sweater and rock out with pride!

4. Starting Fights – There is a time and a place for throwin’ down. A Broken Social Scene show isn’t it. Fights are so not cool. We are all there for the same reason. Love and music. So just give in and let it allllll go. (and c’mon, getting rowdy indie rock style mainly includes wearing a bright knit pattern on your cardigan and excessive finger point dancing)

5. Pushing through – If you are not able to get past the group of people in front of you, you are even less likely to get through the people in front of them. Logic. Plus, say you do get through. You will leave a wake of unhappy people behind, annoy all those beside you because they have less room and be very very uncomfortable from not being to raise or lower your arms.

6. Talking about pushing through – Yep. Talking about “pushing past this *****” is not going to make that person want to help you. In fact they may very well try to impair your actions every way they can.

7. Trying to get in without paying- there are numerous phrases I have heard in my many door manning adventures. “I know the owner”, “I want to just get a drink”, “I didn’t know a band was playing”, “I know the bassist/drummer/second guitar/roadie..” These do not fly. If you know someone, get on the guest list. If you didn’t know a band was playing and don’t want to see it, or want to just get a drink, go to another bar. Door usually covers the bands road expenses, so don’t be an a** and pony up.

8. Stealing band merch – This is less likely at big shows, but still happens. Band’s merch is the number one way these folks make money. That CD you bought at HMV has a huge mark up so you really are paying HMV/the production company. That CD you bought at the show has no mark up and majority of money goes to the band. Support good bands and don’t be a jerk.

9. Saying stuff from music media like you came up with it – yes, that line in exclaim hailing Holy Fuck as the band that “scored a backing band from a Canrock wet dream...” is wicked and I bet you wish you thought of that wet dream reference yourself but you didn’t. Give credit where credit is due and you won’t sound like a pretentious a**.

10. Sitting down – Ok, this is the number one thing that drives me. When the house is packed with people and there is that time between the rad opening number and the headliner PLEASE DO NOT SIT DOWN. This is so rude. It makes people have to maneuver around you awkwardly, people will try and push to that space to only find out that it isn’t available and then have no where to go, and people will fall on you. Just don’t do it, straight up, theres no need.

honourable mention:
11. Make out couple - There is nothing worse or more awkward then trying to crane your neck around a couple who are straight up getting it on. Do not be this couple. It's gross.

Moral of the story folks: we are all in this together. Yes, venues get hot and crowded and kinda gross so if we all do our part to make it a bit more pleasant then it will be. It the words of greatness “Do or do not do, there is no try”. (sorry there really is no context for that it just had to be done)

Are you for realies?

Since the fantastic scene in Say Anything where John Cusack explains the important of a mix tape, and the ever important movie, High Fidelity, many a young lad and lass have participated in the fine tradition of mix tape exchange. Now, there are a shawk of blogs out there giving some very excellent tips on mix tape making. (I highly recommend checking out: “wikihow.com/Make-a-Perfect-Mix-Tape-or-CD” or the very funny, if not rather specific “whatwouldjb.blogspot.com/2006/11/how-to-make-mix-tape-for-chuck.html”) but in my and the lovely features editor experiences, there are some songs that are straight up so full of cheese to be even considered. To save you all from the embarrassment that will follow if included, I give to you an early Christmas present (just in case a mix tape is going to be someone else’s Christmas present, cute!)

Top Ten ‘eye roll’ inducing songs put on a mix tape from an ex lover:

1. The Police - “Every breathe you take”: Yes, this at first listen sounds like a sweet song. Well, as many people by now know, it is about stalking someone. This is not an impression you will want to leave. Trust me. The P Diddy version also falls under the no go category. Ten fold.

2. The Postal Service - “Such Great Heights”: “I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
   In our eyes are mirror images” Seriously? Yah, its a super cute song and my crush on Ben Gibbard has not wanned over the many years but this is a little to blatant. A good love song should have meaning, but a little subtlety people.

3. Aerosmith - “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”: Firstly, contraction’s are not sexy. Secondly- the scene in Armageddon that this song accompanies automatically rules it out. Thirdly – Its in Armageddon. Fourthly – This is the cheez wiz equivalent to cheese. Thats pretty bad.

4. Whitney Houston - “I will always love you”: Uh. I think the title speaks for itself.

5. John Mayer- “Your Body is a Wonderland”: Ok, a) this is the single sappiest song I have heard since I really liked Disney. b) John Mayer is actually a good songwriter and putting this on a mix tape is straight up lazy. Find a good song of his and impress! c) There is a strong possibility that this song will continue to be played on radio stations light rock radio aka. The River for many a year. Do you really want to be equated to The River?

6. Gym Class Hero's cover of Supertramps “Take a look at my Girlfriend”: This is not likely to win you many points. “Take a look at my girlfriend, she’s the only one I got, not much of a girlfriend......” Yah, Supertramp is awesome, however, Gym Class Hero's are not as much. This song does not belong on a mix tape for someone else. Put it in your own itunes playlist.

7. Jeff Buckley - “Lover, you should've come over”: Now, I love Jeff Buckley to no ends and the restraining order I had placed before...well... you know...can attest to that. BUT, this song is a cop out. If you didn’t want it end, YOU should have said something, not gotten Jeff to. Put on another song. “Lilac Wine” is amazing and his cover of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” is so dreamy anyone would melt listening to it.

8. Poison - “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn”: Ok, enough. This has to be the most over played 80’s ballad ever written. Everyone knows it, everyone has heard it upteen times at every Karaoke night. You want 80’s rock? Be original. Search something a little more obscure out?

9. Pink Floyd - “Wish you were here”: There is nothing wrong with a little Floyd but this and “Money” are so overplayed on every classic rock station that there is a good chance someone has a) dedicated this song to your sweetie already b) has put it on a mix tape (silly silly person) or c) your sweetie has it. In many forms. So once again, I urge you to step out of your box a little and find something a little different.

10. Foo Fighters “Everlong”: This is one of Foo Fighter’s biggest hits. Ever. It charted like mad in ‘97 and ‘98 and even has its own wikipedia page. These reasons alone stand to why you should not even bother. Unless you are actually trying to say “Yah, I pretty much just used songs I copied off the radio 10 years ago and I have no original thought or any deep emotional structure.” If you are trying to say that, well. Good Luck.

Moral of the story boys and girls: Be good to you mix tape’s and they will be good back. A little creativity, research, and subtlety is needed and don’t be afraid to go out there.

A good mix tape can be worth its weight in relationship gold (aka. getting laid).

smittens!

I woke up yesterday and looked out my window and what did I see? A shimmering frosting of loveliness. Hence:

Top Ten reasons why Winter is straight up the most adorable season. Ever.

1. Smittens - For real. These actually exist. Created by a couple in Seattle, Smittens are designed so you can hold hands while wearing one mitten. In the words of the creator “...when it dawned on me to create a mitten that was large enough for both of our hands. That way, I thought we could truly hold hands”. Oh. Wow. The set comes with one “smitten” and two regular mittens. If you’re thinking that this will be a great present for your sweetie, check out the website smittens.biz. Then, once you have placed your order you can maybe find some matching sweater and become the envy of all your friends!

2. The sugar Bowl – This is a Lethbridge must-do in the winter time. The single greatest tobogganing hill this side of the rockies. Its got several levels of extreme and it is pretty safe since it really is a giant bowl. I would tell you where it is, but I am selfish.

3. Snow Forts – For real, as a kid, my siblings and I made snow forts that would put Jamison Builders to shame. We had chairs, table tops and after pouring water along the walls they would freeze rock solid and stay around for ages. I seriously recommended bundling up with a few friends, find a front or back yard and just giv’er. A little tip from the wise – if you are going to build snow tunnels, make sure they are not so heavy on top that when they collapse on top of you, you can get out.

4. Hot Toddy’s – This drink is guaranteed to warm you up on the coldest of days. Put 2-3 shots of Brandy in a ¾ full cup of your favorite tea (I personally go for a little Prince of Wales for this particular bevi), one teaspoon of honey and a little lemon slice for garnish. Delish!

5. Fireplaces – There is nothing cozier then sitting in front of a fireplace, with a Hot Toddy and a great book. Really, something about a fire on cold winter nights is guaranteed awesome time. Even with central heating, it is way more dreamy to curl up to some flaming goodness. If you have a bear skin rug – double points.

6. The claymation “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer” - This is a childhood classic. I could watch this movie again and again and again and find it charming each time. The songs are too cute and a dentist elf? Crazy! Plus- the abominable snowman is a dead ringer for the Yeti in “The Empire Strikes Back”. Sweet.

7. Snow Days – This term has always been associated with absolute complete freedom. Even if it is for only one day. Winter is so great because there are just those days when it is ok not to leave the house, Minus 30 weather and snow drifts are understandable reasons to stay indoors. When it is all cold and frosty outside and that last thing you want to do is leave your bed, don’t. Load up your fireplace, grab a couple of great books, a nice merlot and a giant, comfy blanket. There is no better way to spend a day doing nothing.
   

8. Ice Skating – Group skating parties are more fun then a barrel of monkeys. Good friends, cold ice and a plethora of opportunities to embarrass yourself and see your friends do likewise. Here are some must haves for an ice skating adventure: A Thermos full of something hot, extra socks, skates (uhh....duh?), warm clothing and a camera. Don’t like large groups of people, wanna get lucky this winter? This is also the single greatest date you could ever take someone on. Boys and Girls, if you want to impress someone, take them ice skating. It is always fun and even if neither of you know how to skate, falling down together is even more adorable.

9. Winter mornings – When the entire world is muffled from the snow fall and you need to squint because everything is bright from the sharp edge of the frost. The trees are filled with small crystals of ice and every step you take you can only hear the snow crunch under your feet. The cold air is sharp against your cheeks and your breath clouds around your face. Morning’s like these make the eventual slush storm worth it.

10. Winter accessories – Toques with pom pom’s, mittens with strings, great boots, giant scarves, mittens and ear muffs are pretty much to only reasons to go out in winter.

I'm not there

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBAsheMKy0s

mmm...veggie dogs.

This weeks Top Ten is inspired by a boisterous conversation held at the brand spankin’ new Red Dog Dinner. Originally meant to be a top ten epic battle list, it quickly turned into a Top Ten epic This vs. That list. Please enjoy the fruits of my friends obtuse minds:

Top Ten This vs. That:

1. Ewoks vs Storm Troopers – In the last amazing installment of Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VI:Return of the Jedi, these amazing little creatures are not only the most adorable little forest fighters ever but they can kick some serious ass. I mean, this is straight up David and Goliath. Storm Troopers have blasters and all these guys have are stick and stones and they STILL tore it down.

2 . Steven Colbert vs. The Bears – That man is going to get owned one day. Bears do not stand for that shit. Ask Ranger Rick. He got his in the end.

3. Bert vs. Ernie – The age old battle will always battle on. Interesting tidbit - Ernie's rendition of the song “Rubber Duckie” was released as a single in 1970 and reached #16 on the Billboard charts. I highly recommend typing in Bert and Ernie into Wikipedia. There some really funny ‘facts’ about these two Sesame Street characters.

4. Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff vs. The Parents - I think they said it all when they said:

"So to all you kids across the land, take it from me, parents just don't understand."

5. Gizmo vs. The Gremlins – Firstly, it is not Gizmo’s fault that creepy lizard like gremlins grew out of him. Specific instructions were given and if Billy’s jackass friends didn’t listen, well, not Gizmo’s fault. Secondly, he fights back hardcore. Flaming crossbow of doom anyone? (Interesting Fact- the voice of Gizmo was Howie Mandel. That may actually make up for “Deal or no Deal”. Maybe.)

6. Mufasa vs. Scar – Remember that scene in the Lion King when Scar is holding onto Mufasa’s paws with his claws and Mufasa is pleading with him to not drop him into the stampeding herd of wilder beast? Remember? Yah. Bad. Ass.

7. Deaner vs Nut Cancer – If you have yet to see “Fubar” then go rent it right now. A low budget, mockumentary filmed in and around Calgary AB. This film chronicles the life of two ‘metal heads’ and their trails and tribulations. It also includes an awesome song by Deaner himself titled “Women is a Danger Cat” (I am forever hoping to find someone(s) who have actually recorded this song. It would make my life) and features the best name scream ever (TRON!!!!) and the best word to describe a night of debauchery (Giv’er!!!). Essentially, it is awesome. Plus it is filmed in downtown Calgary, and I have actually been to a couple parties held in the Fubar house. Jealous?

(Sidenote – FUBAR actually stands for “F’ed up beyond repair”)

8. N.W.A vs. The Po-Po – I don’t want to get too deep in but this was one bad scene. Listen to any N.W.A song and I think you will get why. Hell, you really only need to listen to one...you know...the one titled “F*** tha Police”. Yah.

9. Lauren Hill vs. The rest of The Fugees – That girl is straight up crazy. CRAZY.

10. Conan O’Brien vs. The Horny Manatee – Man, this is probably one of my favorite Conan O’Brien skits. So, sometime in late 2006 Conan refereed to website www.hornymantatee.com which then, apparently, causes the producers of the show to a) actually create this website and then b) dupe some poor intern who really really wants this gig to dress up like a ‘sexy’ manatee and dance around suggestively on-air. Its even funnier then it sounds.

Here is a little something something on Campus-Community radio.

It's a little dry, but it is a good 9min overview of some of the problems that C/C radio faces.

So kick it!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DmcnTu7CglU

my halloween costume beats your halloween costume

Oh man, Halloween is coming up and I am the most excited. My costume is so scary I have to put it on in the dark lest I give myself the willies. Now for a top ten worthy of all the fake blood and scar tissue floating around out there:

Top Ten most under rated villains:

1. Boba Fett – This character deserves way more recognition for the evilness he represents. Yah, Star Wars has Darth Vadar and Emperor Palapatine but this guy....ohhhh man.

Sent to capture the “Millennium Falcon” in The Empire Strikes Back Boba Fett is the one threat real enough to capture the “fastest hunk of junk in the universe”. He is a mean, lean, disintegration machine. True to his evil, soul less nature he directs Darth Vadar to Cloud City to capture the Millennium Falcon, and then freezes dreamy Hans Solo, and triy's to trap Luke Skywalker. Evil eh? Don’t worry – Hans Solo, with a little help from that gross looking Sarlacc, teaches him a lesson. Take that Boba Fett. What!

2. Gargamele – Man, that guy would just straight up not let up on those cute little Smurfs. Who wants to eat a small blue creature anyways? Ew.

3. Commander Cobra – In all honesty, this suggestion comes from someone else but his passionate defense of why this needed to be included is good enough for me, so Wikipedia here we go....A character from G.I. Joe, he appears in the animated series, comic books, toy line and movie. Created by Marvel Comics writer Larry Hama and was loosely based on the James Bond villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld. In the words of the original Commander Cobra’s Character Dossier Card: “Absolute power! Total control of the world... its people, wealth and resources - that's the objective of Cobra Commander. This fanatical leader rules with an iron fist. He demands total loyalty and allegiance. His main battle plan, for world control, relies on revolution and chaos. He personally led uprisings in the Middle East, Southeast Asia and other trouble spots. Responsible for kidnapping scientists, businessmen and military leaders, then forcing them to reveal their top level secrets. Cobra Commander is hatred and evil personified. Corrupt. A man without scruples. Most dictators and would-be Napoleon types are hampered by the need to pretend that they are pursuing a noble and just cause. Cobra Commander doesn't have that problem. This guy's in it for the money and the power, and if anybody else is interested in these things, they can pick up an assault rifle and get in line behind him.”

Fair enough, pretty evil.

4. Nickelback – They’re trying to kill the music industry. I consider this villainous.

5. Bowser – You would get through all those levels, picking up mushrooms and stars, running away from creepy haunted houses and ghosts, getting all high on yourself, thinking you got it like that. Then, BOOM. Bowser would roll up and destroy all your hopes and dreams for rescuing the princess. Man, that guy sucked.

6. Professor Coldheart – I’m talking about the REAL Professor Coldheart. You may even know him, he may even be in one of your classes (and no, I am not talking about an actual prof).

7. The Misfits – Not the real life band (unless your talking about the post Glenn Danzig, in which case, yes) but the evil fictional band in the TV program Jem and the Holograms. These girls were bad ass, but not in the cool “smoking in the boys room” way. Undermining Jem any chance they would get and even sucking in kind, sweet and totally redeemable Stormer. And really, “Pizzazz”? Thats the best stage name you could come up with? At least Roxy, Stormer and Jetta sound cool. Pizzazz sounds like a B-club stripper, and whats with all the extra Z’s?F!

8. That person in every group project who does nothing at all but still takes the credit.

9. The T-Rex from Land before Time – Once again, I reference this fantabulous movie. Seriously though, can you honestly say that the T-Rex didn’t make you want to scream “Run Littlefoot Run!” at the TV screen until your older sibling flicked your ear and called you dumb for thinking that maybe, just maybe they could hear you? This character really did scare me more then what is logical, even for a mere child of 5. I did know dinosaurs and more specifically T-Rex’s no longer existed but still....one look at those giant teeth dripping on my TV screen, uhhh, it still gives me the shivers.

10. Mama Fratelli– The Goonies continues to be one of the greatest movies ever made and Mama Fratelli continues to be one of the freakin’ creepiest characters to ever exist. This lady was down right mean. Mean to The Goonies, mean to her sons, really mean to poor Sloth and she almost puts Chunk’s hand in a blender. Yah.

god, I am cute.

It’s getting chillier and everyone seems to be walking around with a lovely little cold (myself included). So to warm up our hearts, lets take a walk down memory lane...Everyone have their buddy?

Top ten favorite childhood moments:

1. Being sick – Remember when being sick was the best thing ever? Now, I am not talking about real sick, like the chicken pox or Mono. More like that sick where you have a tummy ache and the sniffles. A couple days home from school, tons of attention, first dibs on the good T.V. programs and your teachers were totally cool when you didn’t have your homework finished for and entire week!
Now, if your lucky, you get a classmate to grab your notes from the one class you missed, where of course the entire test material is explained, which you then go to your prof.’s office to clarify the foreign language the notes seem to be in and wait 45 min for them to come during their office hours to then have them tell you, you should have been in class.
F!

2. “The Land before Time” movie – I’ve said it before and I will say it again. The first “Land before Time” was everything magical about childhood. Talking dinosaurs, life changing adventures, tree stars, BFF’s and good overcoming all the odds….sigh…Until about grade 5 I truly believed that this is what prehistoric times were really like.

3. Truth, Dare, Double Dare, Promise to Repeat – Some of my most scandalous moments have been because of this game. Also, some of the funniest childhood stories and memories are because of this game. C’mon, you know there was always that person who would do ANYTHING....

4. Long summer nights – Remember those summer’s where you truly had nothing to do for two whole months? No jobs, no school and minimal supervision. Bed times were pushed back to dusk and dusk meant like 9 pm! To a 10 year old that’s a huge deal. Bike rides, slurpees and days spent listlessly laying around on the playground, in your bedroom, in your friends basement....

5. Recess – Yes, as University students we do indeed get to choose our own schedule and breaks are abundent, but nothing compares to the anticipation of the last 30 minutes before sweet, sweet freedom. The race to the best swing, the claim on the four square space and huge games of cops and robbers. Recess was awesome and it didn’t matter how cold it was outside, the 15 minutes you get entirely to yourself was so worth that endless math class you have to endure to the get there (unless of course you are one of those people who liked math, in which case you are probably a math major now).

6. Elementary Crushes –Elementary crushes were characterized by hearts drawn in notebooks, giggling girls and chases on the playground. When boyfriends and girlfriends were the friends that you held hands with, or if you were very scandalous, kissed during school field trips or on the back of the bus ; and of course there was always that one ‘couple’ who got ‘married’ under the money bars. Cute!

7. TGIF – Friday’s used to be the night you stayed home and watched Boy Meets World, Sabrina the Teenage Witch and a slew of other coming of age sitcoms. You were allowed to stay up extra late because it wasn’t a school night and sleepovers + TGIF were, as the old adage goes, the bomb!

8. Saturday morning cartoons – Ok, so a know that TV seems to be a large part of this list, but lets face it, TV was a large part of many of our childhood’s. Even if your parents didn’t let you have cable until you were too old to care (like myself...which is why I didn’t know what Much Music was until I was 19....thanks mom and dad..) One Saturday Morning was on peasant vision and getting up at 9am was actually something I looked forward too. Plus it was the only way I was going to beat my three younger siblings to the good TV spot.

9. Milk Money – Yep, the school milk program rocked! Not only did you get tasty, delicious milk everyday, worry free, you won stuff too. Fair enough, I now see through the ploy that milk company’s are just trying to suck in young, impressionable future consumers and their parents by playing up the nutritious element, but still, free key rings? Whats up! ( A little fun fact for ya- being Lactose Intolerant is much more common then commonly known. Most adults don’t have the enzyme to break down milk protein because it does not naturally occur. It was an evolutionary thing we developed in the northern hemisphere to ensure we would get enough nutrients during those barren winter months.)

10. Friendship Bracelets - Ok, these were the coolest. Yes, a little elitist and I remember more then one lunch hour pouting about MY BFF giving some other girl a friendship bracelet, but still. Brightly colored pieces of string knotted together, something about it gets me every time. Plus they are a camp counselors dream!

Acceptance makes great top ten's

So, recently I completed the true test of a Lethbridge local. The walk from the west side to the south side. Now, it was a fair night with little wind but I still feel that I have been officially initiated into Lethbridge culture. For all you local’s and you fourth years who are pretty much locals by now here is this weeks top ten:

You know your (officially) from Lethbridge when:

1. You have walked from the west side to the south side, and it didn’t think it was that bad. In fact you may do it again. If the wind doesn’t physically stop you.

2. You don’t even like music but you know who Atrophy Manuscript is.

3. You know who is painted on the side of The Slice bar and grill.

4. You have worked at The Empire movie theater and/or The Penny Coffee house at some point in your life.

5. You have been in the wicked mysterious tunnels that run underneath downtown.

6. You wonder why 1983 was such a significant year and what made it cause a generation of people to “grow up”. F!

7. You actually know what people mean when they give you directions that use ‘China Town’ as a reference. (but you still shoot them a look because, C’MON!)

8. You are sick of seeing pictures/postcards/depictions of The Train Bridge. (but you miss it when you’re gone, and only feel truly at home once you round that corner and it comes into sight)

9. The fact that Lethbridge Transit actually calls itself L.A. Transit no longer is the funniest thing you have ever heard.

10. You have seen “Land before.....haha...just kidding.... for real: You no longer wonder where the East side went and you strongly identify yourself from which section of the city you live in. (go Westside!! woot woot!)

Do Stuff!

This was written mid september, so the pre-amble is a little dated. uhh...awkward...

So, it’s your third week in classes and you have most likely spent more time at The Duke then what is good for any one person. You have also probably gotten to that point that most people get to at about this...well...point. You are already sick of the wind, the one bar you have been too and looking for a reason to love this oh-so-love-to-hateable town. Well my dears, don’t despair:

Top Ten reasons why it’s worth putting up with ‘The Wind’.

1. Small venues = up close to sweet bands – Where else could I have seen Wayne Petti (from Cuff the Duke) drop trou, shaken it to Tokyo Police Club, sang along with Tegan and Sara, shaken hands with Joel Plaskett, had The Stolen Minks sign my hankie, and grooved to Bedouin Soundclash. Here in Lethbridge we have few venues for sweet bands to play in but these venues do offer what many can’t: up close and personal interaction. I have seen/danced to/meet many an artist here and my brushes of fame have only served to highlight why the Lethbridge music scene is super sweet.
2. Wicked coffee shops – For real. I am not comparing Lethbridge to coffee shop mecca’s like Vancouver or Toronto but places like Roundstreet Cafe and The Penny serve up a mean cappuccino, know how to make an iced Vietnamese ( hell, the fact they even know what one is makes me happy...) and make deli-sh sandwich's to go. These are all things that make a time crunched university student very very happy. Only problem- not open late enough, so get there during the day to taste these delights!
3. Saturday nights – Need something to do? Sick of studying? Well...Lethbridge offers quite a bit for cash strapped youths. Movie theaters are never sold out and cheaper here then other cities, places to play a game of pool and have a bevi are abundant (my favorite – Westside Backstreet) and most Saturdays boast a fire-spinning/ Tune blasting/ sweet dancing good time at Galt Gardens. Bring a hoop, some hot chocolate and let the good times begin!
4. Walking – Ok, so the fact that you can walk from a sweet sushi restaurant to a movie theater and then a pub without exerting too much effort is totally sweet. Plus the Lethbridge low crime rate means you can stroll after dark with little to no worry about your safety! Sweet! Plus downtown is pretty adorable and worth at least one of your afternoons.
5. Art Gallery’s - We have some very very sweet art gallery’s and as you will learn in Art 1000, Lethbridge boasts some world class collections (word has it, the UofL even owns a Picasso. Whats up!) Here are some you might not even know about:

- Gallery Potemkin: A loosely organized group of about 15 artists who occupy studio space in downtown Lethbridge and present three to four exhibitions a year. Rental space for artists.
Address: 316 5 St S Lethbridge AB T1J 2B5

- The Miller Gallery: Address: 407A 5 St S Lethbridge AB T1J 2B6

- Trianon Gallery: Formerly the Trianon Ballroom (1930s-1960s), the gallery is an informal mix between a gallery and an architectural office. Its open space and philosophy allows for creative community responses. Exhibitions range from nationally-renowned artists to aspiring students. A second exhibition space, Le Petit Trianon is now open downstairs.
Address: 104 5 St S - Upstairs Lethbridge AB T1J 2B2

- Coulee Ridge Art Gallery: Mon - Sat 10 am - 6 pm.
Address: Lethbridge Center Mall, 217-200 4 Ave S Lethbridge AB T1J 4C9

6. Chances to get involved - There are a shawk of wicked organizations and clubs in this city and since we are fairly small, you can play a lead role in these sweet groups. It’s super easy to fins local chapters and organizations on google. Just type in Lethbridge and then the group or interest. Presto! For example - “Lethbridge campus community radio” = CKXU!
7. Kebab Land – It’s a proper Kebab place. On the West Side (right next door to Fire and Ice). Open late. Serves a plethora of delights. Need I say more?
8. Karaoke to knock your socks off – For whatever reason Lethbridge has some of the best karaoke I have even encountered. The Tuesday night Slice Bar and Grill karaoke boats a song book to make any music lover swoon. Bo-Dudley’s and The Duke also host karaoke which will have you up on stage singing Blondie’s “Call Me” anyone before you can say “just one more drink..”
9. The Coulees – Breathtaking, free and totally accessible to all! They are amazing and all the locals know those wicked spots to sit, chill and think of that essay topic you have been putting off... So make friends with a local and utilize that shit! Plus, with all the rain hopefully the fire ban will no longer exist and then (space designated and controlled) coulee fires will reign supreme!
10. The People – Despite some of the hang-up’s that Lethbridge does carry, the people here make it all worthwhile. Ton’s of University student’s mean lots of wicked like minded people to meet, a great arts community, a wicked local music scene (seriously, check it! Local bands here are too good to not know about) and lots of ways to meet all these fine folks means a bevy of potential friends at your fingertips.

Why I hate Toby McGuire

Throughout my many years at a fine institution of learning, I have worked at perfecting one of the greatest skills that any fourth year student could have. The art of ripping stuff off. Here is a tribute to a skill which many of us university students couldn’t live without:

The top ten biggest rip off's of all time:

1. The Terminator III - Seriously. One was funny and totally far sighted for its time, two was pretty decent and more action packed then a can full of rubber snakes. Three, pure and unadulterated crap. The governator has all of California's tax money to throw into a movie and that's what comes out??

2. Paul McCartney's new album "Memory almost full" - More like "Senility has finally set in". Do yourself a favor. Go buy "St. Peppers Lonely Heart Club Band". Go.

3. Venti Frappiccunio Lights - Firstly- a Venti drink is 20 oz, or 750 ml or 3/4 of a liter. That’s 1/3 of your daily water needs. No one needs that much blended dairy product with diabetic inducing sugar syrup. Secondly- if you are looking to cut calories, get a smaller size. A Venti light is still enough calories to make up around 1/4-1/3 of your daily intake. Unless you literally live off three Venti frappiccunio daily (in which case, you’re going to be a diabetic soon) is that one frap really worth it? Thirdly - Think of how much of a drink 750 ml's is. At that point, can you even taste the pop culture capitalistic exploitation any more? Just get a small/tall/something else foreign sounding.

4. The Treaty of Versailles - If you don't know what I am talking about, do yourself a favor. Head on down to the local library and take out a library card. Then look it up. Too lazy? Yah, me too. Ok then, google it. See what I mean. Rip off through and through.

5. That 80's show- I don't know how many people remember this show, it existed for barley one season and became the number one time spot watched while channel surfing. Those 4 seconds each flip really add up. Trying to capture the success of the That 70's Show, a show about the big bad 80's rears its ugly head. Besides being a formula show with bad writing, the cast wasn't memorable and didn't have any of the chemistry that the cast from That 70's Show had.
The 80's were defined by the self obsessed nature of anyone who existed in the 80's. Look at every movie created. All commentaries on the selfish pop culture existence but all a self contained pop culture reference in itself. How can you make a show that draws from something which is as cliché as referencing a cliché in a blog (then using self deprecating humor to create a facade of coolness....oh Kolsterman I have learned so much from you.)

6. Asexual reproduction - 'nuff said.

7. Toy dogs- Where the hell is the rest of it? If I was given an itty bitty poodle that needed puppy booty's in the winter and sweaters at the first sign of frost I would ask where the dog trade-in office was and then get a real dog.

8. Canadian cell phone service - We have the worst cell phone service in the world. Seriously. Look it up. Not only do Canadians pay an arm and a leg for their cell phone bills but dropped calls, increasing charges and 3 year plans are so not ok. I say we rise up; all throw away our cell phones, bankrupt the companies and then start fresh.

9. Land Before Time II, III, IV, V, VI etc.... - The first Land Before Time was amazing. Childhood would not have been the same without Little Foot, Petri, Duckie, Spike and Sarah. However all the subsequent releases made my inner child want to shrivel like an ill feed mandrake root. Sad, sad, sad.

10. The Spiderman Movies - Yep, they both sucked. They took a wonderful, fantastic comic book and then created something puke inducing out of it. How rude. I admit it, I am a comic book fan or more accurately I am a fan of the social and political contexts in which comic books became a huge industry and one of the largest pop culture phenomenon since...well....fire? But, what the Spiderman movies did was suck all of the coolness out and replace it with Toby McGuire crying. F!